So it’s official. I’m a Mac

•December 26, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Although class is done, I believe that I can still try to expand my horizons by doing a blog every now and again. So today is Christmas and this may be the worst Christmas that i’ve ever had. I’ve gotten in 2 car accidents in the past two weeks. And i’m pretty much broke until next summer. This is something that I’ve gotta admit to myself. I don’t know what i’m going to do but i’m going to hope that my parents are able to help me through this.

My parents are my everything. They’ve done so much for me and I’ve accepted that i wouldn’t be much of anywhere without them. So with that said, my New Years Resolution is to appreciate them, and tell them how thankful I am for them more often. This is something that i don’t think that I was able to do as much as i would like to this year.

Book Review (72 Hour Hold)

•December 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

So this book did so much for me and my writing. I think it taught me more so than anything to think outside of the box. I took so much from it because it was taken at a first person point of view. To think of a parent dealing with a child with a mental disorder is a hard area to think of covering, and for Bebe Moore Campbell to actually have to deal with it an write a creative nonfiction novel about it shows the strength that she had as an author to be able to be able to share the experience with the world.

The book was full of description, and quotes that would follow me for the rest of my days. I enjoyed it to no end, but i can admit that it did break my heart in so many ways. Just to hear how swiftly Tiffany could change her emotions about how she felt  about her mother. But it also made me want to discover new areas of my writing and wanting to do more and expand the subject that I discuss in it.

Prelude (To what? I don’t know)

•November 10, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I’d been in love with the same man for one-third of my existence. I’ve loved him, lost him, and loved him again. My love never faltered although his strayed several times. Yet, he always returned. As if he’d never left.

I looked at him. The brown eyes seemed to tell the entire story of our relationship. Seven years. Seven long years I’d spent wanting him. Seven long years of watching him date other people and of hoping that he would eventually realize that what he had was sitting in front of him the whole time.

I don’t know why I bothered. I don’t know why I played myself over and over again for a man that obviously didn’t want to be with me. But I continued to do it. And everytime he came back, I was ready, willing, and able to allow him to come back in. Silly me I guess.

I didn’t know how I was going to move forward if I couldn’t get past the past.

My heart wouldn’t allow me to.

Close My Eyes 10.28.09

•November 10, 2009 • Leave a Comment

“Close my eyes. Dream the nightmare that is him.

Imagine life to be what it was back then.

When I was in your eyes perfect.

You in mine worth it.

But not things are different.

And the realization hits. The things you said, you never meant.”

Uprock Headspin Scramble and Dive

•November 10, 2009 • Leave a Comment

This is the book that I borrowed from the professor, since my Jill Scott poetry book didn’t arrive, I’ve been spending my time reading this instead. I’m trying my hardest to focus on the different pieces in my book. While focusing, I’m also listening to hip-hop to try to get my head around where all the poetry is coming from.

The first piece I believe is a wonderful prelude to the book. I think that the reading of it gave me a new understanding and respect for dancers. As a person that watches ABDC, I’m a person that often wonders how street dancers get their start and where they end up. I think the pice that begins the books takes away half of that wonder for me.

I think that the way the words flow in the first piece is something that makes me want to get better at my poetry. I’d love to have a piece that I’d be able to look back and have fun reading and understanding that the place words go to make them sound better. The problem that I have with my poetry is the fact that i often think that every poem should rhyme and it often becomes force. This piece shows me that it doesn’t have to be this way.

72 Hour Hold

•November 10, 2009 • Leave a Comment

May be the saddest book that I’ve ever read in my life. It takes me back to the excercise that we did in class in which you had to get into the mindstate of someone with a mental illness. I think that the piece took me to a different place because it made me feel as if i was the mother of a child with a mental illness.

This took me to a better place with my writing. I think that I learned that sometimes writing is more about feeling things rather than having them completely understand the piece. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get deeper into my blogging with this piece of work being finished…

I’m also trying to get over the fact that i believe that my poetry sucks. Therefore I’m trying to put more of my poetry in my blog and get some thoughts on how to get better at it. I’ll also be able to put all of my thoughts about writing into the blog (I’m really trying to see the good in this blog thing, considering that I have to do 15 posts before the week is out). Hopefully, I’ll be able to get it together.

So While I’m looking for an old piece to read

•October 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

So while i’m looking for an old piece of literature to read for class on tuesday, I’m thinking about all of the recent pieces of literature that I’ve been reading. Most recently, I’ve read a book by Bebe Moore Campbell called 72 Hour Hold. It’s interesting because it’s about a mother dealing with her daughter with Bi-Polar disorder…I mean what i like about it is it’s a little bit of everywhere. The daughter doesn’t take his meds she’s a little bit of everywhere. She’s violent, rambunctious, and believes that her mother has killed her actual mother and stolen her to make her life a living hell. I’m trying my hardest not to cry while reading the piece. It’s just too much because I had an Aunt that was mentally ill and things were much the same about her choosing to take her medication. If she took it then all was right with the world and she was the sweetest woman i think i might have ever known, but had she not taken her medication then she was everywhere, violent, and disruptive to the rest of us. I’m trying to think of how to get the feelings that I’m feeling for the piece out in one of my own but I’m struggling. Maybe it’s too close to home…